Monday, December 20, 2010
"past the point of no return"
uuugh that stupid song from phantom and the opera is stuck in my head!! psh! i wonder why???
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Heart Troubles
I keep a defibulator in my closet, because my heart stops every time i think of you.
A simple jump start and I'll be good. I keep and oxygen mask in my closet, because you take my breathe away. A simple inhale and I'll be good. I keep a map in my closet, because i get lost without you. A simple path and I'll be good. You see, Im constantly on guard for the time when all will stop and ill drop to my knees and panic...i guess you could call this heart trouble.
A simple jump start and I'll be good. I keep and oxygen mask in my closet, because you take my breathe away. A simple inhale and I'll be good. I keep a map in my closet, because i get lost without you. A simple path and I'll be good. You see, Im constantly on guard for the time when all will stop and ill drop to my knees and panic...i guess you could call this heart trouble.
Monday, November 29, 2010
hmmm
Theres this little peice of me thats slowly dissolving away.
mabey it's the part that cares, the part that worries.
mabey its the part that keeps me tied back.
mabey.....its the fact that i cant spell mabey right.....maybe.....there we go....
i dont know what it is. but it broke off, fell on the ground and now it's just....gone....
is that a good thing?
mabey it's the part that cares, the part that worries.
mabey its the part that keeps me tied back.
mabey.....its the fact that i cant spell mabey right.....maybe.....there we go....
i dont know what it is. but it broke off, fell on the ground and now it's just....gone....
is that a good thing?
Monday, October 25, 2010
bleh
hahahhaah.....i...ummmm......ahhahhahahahha.....what??.........
hahahhahahahhahhahahahhaha......crap.......i need meds.
hahahhahahahhahhahahahhaha......crap.......i need meds.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Hippy-ness
Saturday. Just a plain ol saturday. Went to a garage sale my friend was having and wore wigs, danced in the street, and got paid in quarters to sing frank sinatra. Yep saturday. I bought this AMAZING vintage (40's) tan suit case for 3 dollas! the fact that my ukulele fits in it perfectly is besides the point. Mrs. J Strauss.....that was her name....that was her suit case.....she died. um yeah i kinda feel like a terrible person for only paying three bucks for that beautiful peice of luggage. buuuuuut whatever.....it's cool. So im walking down the street.....suit case in hand...guitar on back....and wearing this long grey vintagy skirt. This man came up to me and says "good for you, we dont see true hippies anymore, keep the love alive" that made me laugh.
i am.....a hippy. hmmmm.......wow....guess i didnt realize how great it could feel......i wonder if this J Strauss chick was a hippy......probably.....cause ppl said she would never shave her legs.....at least we have some thing in common. :)
i am.....a hippy. hmmmm.......wow....guess i didnt realize how great it could feel......i wonder if this J Strauss chick was a hippy......probably.....cause ppl said she would never shave her legs.....at least we have some thing in common. :)
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Today was a bad day
Today was a bad day.
I woke up and could tell right away.
Today i tried to keep it together, but ended up falling apart.
Today i sped through life wishing this day would finally end.
Today was a bad day.
But i made it better.
How?
Guess.
I woke up and could tell right away.
Today i tried to keep it together, but ended up falling apart.
Today i sped through life wishing this day would finally end.
Today was a bad day.
But i made it better.
How?
Guess.
Friday, September 10, 2010
not sure
I want to tell people.
a simple truth.
I want to show people how easy it is to become consumed with everything.
I want to take the world by the hand and become it's friend.
I want............................................................
a simple truth.
I want to show people how easy it is to become consumed with everything.
I want to take the world by the hand and become it's friend.
I want............................................................
Be strong
Strength
what is strength?
The size of ones muscles?
The ability to lift heavy weights?
or is strength....
internal?
comes from within?
The ability to look at life, when it's kicked you down to the ground. and still be optimistic?
Smiling when all you want to do is cry?
Helping others when you are the one that needs it the most?
Pushing on even though giving up seems so apealing.
Strength
what is it?
Strength is you.
You are strong.
what is strength?
The size of ones muscles?
The ability to lift heavy weights?
or is strength....
internal?
comes from within?
The ability to look at life, when it's kicked you down to the ground. and still be optimistic?
Smiling when all you want to do is cry?
Helping others when you are the one that needs it the most?
Pushing on even though giving up seems so apealing.
Strength
what is it?
Strength is you.
You are strong.
Happy hippy
A candle,
burns slowly.
Just like my heart beat.
Shadows illuminated on the walls
People laughing.
Hands gripping hope.
Throat closed
Smiling.
Pizza stain on my shirt.
Laughing at myself.
Feet hard.
Wind strong.
Im flying.
Rain beating on the side of the house.
Light outside welcoming stray cats.
A feeling of contentment.
confusion.
and finally acceptance.
Accepting the fact that life is.....crazy.
And we just have to take it as it is.
That if we try to force perfection well only tire ourselves.
Blank.
Everything endless.
Hope for...things better.
Knowing that if we give our all and trush in him
he will show us
that life.....is better.
Birds singing
grass wet.
Static hair.
A hug from a little girl.
This is life......
and it is crazy.
But we have to....take it as it is.
because really.....it is wonderful.
burns slowly.
Just like my heart beat.
Shadows illuminated on the walls
People laughing.
Hands gripping hope.
Throat closed
Smiling.
Pizza stain on my shirt.
Laughing at myself.
Feet hard.
Wind strong.
Im flying.
Rain beating on the side of the house.
Light outside welcoming stray cats.
A feeling of contentment.
confusion.
and finally acceptance.
Accepting the fact that life is.....crazy.
And we just have to take it as it is.
That if we try to force perfection well only tire ourselves.
Blank.
Everything endless.
Hope for...things better.
Knowing that if we give our all and trush in him
he will show us
that life.....is better.
Birds singing
grass wet.
Static hair.
A hug from a little girl.
This is life......
and it is crazy.
But we have to....take it as it is.
because really.....it is wonderful.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Amore'
Some one asked me to describe an emotion (a certain emotion)
I tried but,
I cant describe it.
It's....wonderful.
Thats all i know.
I tried but,
I cant describe it.
It's....wonderful.
Thats all i know.
Cold play...green eyes
I...love...this...song. :D
Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand
That green eyes,
yeah the spotlight, shines upon you
And how could, anybody, deny you
I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, now I’ve met you
And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you
Green eyes
Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know
That green eyes, you’re the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who, tried to deny you must be out of their mind
Cause I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, since I met you
Honey you should know, that I could never go on without you
Green eyes Green eyes
Ohohohohooooo
Ohohohohooooo
Ohohohohooooo
Ohohohohooooo
Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand
That green eyes,
yeah the spotlight, shines upon you
And how could, anybody, deny you
I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, now I’ve met you
And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you
Green eyes
Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know
That green eyes, you’re the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who, tried to deny you must be out of their mind
Cause I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, since I met you
Honey you should know, that I could never go on without you
Green eyes Green eyes
Ohohohohooooo
Ohohohohooooo
Ohohohohooooo
Ohohohohooooo
Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
What do you see?
Art.
The real definition of art, is a simple object that inspires the person to come up with a meaning.
You could take a napkin, fold it in half.
Draw a dot in the middle of it,
and ask the person
"what does this mean?"
and i guarantee you will get many different ideas.
Art isnt a beautiful painting,
an amazing sculpture,
art is something simple....that hides so much more.
The real definition of art, is a simple object that inspires the person to come up with a meaning.
You could take a napkin, fold it in half.
Draw a dot in the middle of it,
and ask the person
"what does this mean?"
and i guarantee you will get many different ideas.
Art isnt a beautiful painting,
an amazing sculpture,
art is something simple....that hides so much more.
Im laughing
Im laughing.
I am literally on the floor, tears streaming down my face, throat sore.
Laughing.
why?
you
may
ask.
because....i just realized something.....
You cannot try to prove a point...when someones not listening to you.
NOTE TO SELF: Tell grandpa to turn on his hearing aid next time you explain "what in the heck is a 'LOL' " because more than likely. He'll use it later in a sentence and refer it to a symptom....such as PMS.
"Lainy go eat yourself some cake i think your having LOL."
I love my grandpa. :D
I am literally on the floor, tears streaming down my face, throat sore.
Laughing.
why?
you
may
ask.
because....i just realized something.....
You cannot try to prove a point...when someones not listening to you.
NOTE TO SELF: Tell grandpa to turn on his hearing aid next time you explain "what in the heck is a 'LOL' " because more than likely. He'll use it later in a sentence and refer it to a symptom....such as PMS.
"Lainy go eat yourself some cake i think your having LOL."
I love my grandpa. :D
And today.....??
Theres nothing quite like having the full flying experience.
>Peeing on a plane (very strange)
>Falling asleep on some strangers shoulder later to wake up and find youve drooled all over them (true story, that lady probably hates me)
>Screaming "WERE GONNA DIE!!!" really loud when theirs turbulance.
>And ofcourse the peanuts....what is an airplane without it's peanuts.
I am....very tired. Was a really good trip but now.....i think.....it's time to pass out.
BTW: Never, EVER joke around with the flight attendant and ask her if "she could please help you re-wire the bomb strapped to your chest." Not a good joke, seriously. Dont.
>Peeing on a plane (very strange)
>Falling asleep on some strangers shoulder later to wake up and find youve drooled all over them (true story, that lady probably hates me)
>Screaming "WERE GONNA DIE!!!" really loud when theirs turbulance.
>And ofcourse the peanuts....what is an airplane without it's peanuts.
I am....very tired. Was a really good trip but now.....i think.....it's time to pass out.
BTW: Never, EVER joke around with the flight attendant and ask her if "she could please help you re-wire the bomb strapped to your chest." Not a good joke, seriously. Dont.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Go to the mirror
Take a good long look at yourself.
who are you?
you are.....
everything imaginable, endless possibilities, sustainable happiness.
I laugh at myself,
for ever thinking,
that thier couldnt be a perfect guy.
I laugh because here you are.
Look at your hand:
Move your fingers.
what are you?
you are.......
Life.
my life.
I
C
A
N
T
B
E
L
I
E
V
E
I
F
O
U
N
D
Y
O
U
I smile....because im happy. (duh)
Take a good long look at yourself.
who are you?
you are.....
everything imaginable, endless possibilities, sustainable happiness.
I laugh at myself,
for ever thinking,
that thier couldnt be a perfect guy.
I laugh because here you are.
Look at your hand:
Move your fingers.
what are you?
you are.......
Life.
my life.
I
C
A
N
T
B
E
L
I
E
V
E
I
F
O
U
N
D
Y
O
U
I smile....because im happy. (duh)
Very excited
I.....want....to....travel....the world.
And i will.
with you.
Do this experiment for me....ok??
Go to your room.
Take with you a piece of paper and pen.
On the piece of paper write:
SOMEDAY.
Hang this on your ceiling. Right above your bed.
So every morning when you wake up you'll think "Someday"
Someday:
someday, well be together.
someday, well see the world.
someday, well cook dinner together.
someday, well write music together.
someday, well pray together (in person)
someday, well look back and smile at how perfect everything turned out.
someday, well go on an adventure.
someday, well explore the most simple of towns.
someday, well tell people our story.
but today, today im thinking of you.
today, im smiling at how wonderful life is.
today, i am in love with you.
And i know that in all the days to come.....i always will be. :)
Now close your eyes........take 3 deep breathes.....and smile....because everything is going to work out. Im very excited. To be able to experience the world. Right along side you.
And i will.
with you.
Do this experiment for me....ok??
Go to your room.
Take with you a piece of paper and pen.
On the piece of paper write:
SOMEDAY.
Hang this on your ceiling. Right above your bed.
So every morning when you wake up you'll think "Someday"
Someday:
someday, well be together.
someday, well see the world.
someday, well cook dinner together.
someday, well write music together.
someday, well pray together (in person)
someday, well look back and smile at how perfect everything turned out.
someday, well go on an adventure.
someday, well explore the most simple of towns.
someday, well tell people our story.
but today, today im thinking of you.
today, im smiling at how wonderful life is.
today, i am in love with you.
And i know that in all the days to come.....i always will be. :)
Now close your eyes........take 3 deep breathes.....and smile....because everything is going to work out. Im very excited. To be able to experience the world. Right along side you.
Overall sum up
And here i am:
The events of the past few days swimming around my head.
The 5:00 am wake up call, the flight (where i gladly passed out)
arriving at the airport, lots of hugs from uncle.
And the rest, well the rest was amazing. Walking down town chicago, taking pictures of EVERYTHING, a man on the corner of the street playing a saxaphone. People of all different backgrounds walking this way and that. In a place as high paced as this, i found it surprisingly easy to just sit back and take it all in. People, in general. Live thier lives unknowing of the deep force that compells us all to just, enjoy....life. And it's very easy to, in a city like this. The lights, the music, the food, OH MY GOD, THE FOOOOD! *salivating at the thought of everything*
And then theirs the experiences, the stories, the funny facts your grateful to be able to tell.
For instance, we got a free hotel room just because a lady said we "looked like cool people"
We walked a block and went to a live jazz club and listened to a group of guys who lived for music.
To see their passion so plainly written on their faces, was....very inspiring. Made me wanna go all Louie Armstrong on errybody. I think the main thing, when visiting a city your not that familiar with, is to be spontaneous. Get lost, totally throw yourself into this new environment and teach your self to adapt. A boat ride on the river. The huge buidlings with thier arciterctual features.
The art meuseum: PICASSO! And VAN GOUGH!! right in front of me, the original work of thier own hands, these wonderful men that expressed themselves through vibrant color and a different outlook on life. The world is so huge. And ive only been able to explore a small corner of it. But if this proves anything, it's that their is adventure and a place for everyone.
Heres a story:
There was this pigeon.
It followed me for a couple of blocks.
Stopped in the middle of the street and stared at me,
i couldda sworn it was smiling. It started hopping
down this alley,
and something (i donno what)
compelled me to follow it.
So i did.
Who would of known that
it would of led me to something
so inspiring
so deep
so influental
i know i will never view things the same.
Ive seen raw human optimisim.
There in a wheel chair was a man without legs.
Missing teeth, dirty clothes, and a very very strong odor.
And you know what he was doing?
Smiling, he was as happy as could be.
Wishing everyone a wonderful thursday.
He wasnt begging, wasnt looking for a pity party,
he just wanted to tell the world that life is much better appreciated...
when you have nothing at all.
I respect that man.
I wish i would of asked his name.
I'll just call him Mario.
Mario inspired me.
I wish i could be like him,
just.....you know....with legs.
and.....i wish i could appreciate life....knowing that even if i had nothing
at all....i'd still be happy.
Mario in Chicago,
Gratzi!
The events of the past few days swimming around my head.
The 5:00 am wake up call, the flight (where i gladly passed out)
arriving at the airport, lots of hugs from uncle.
And the rest, well the rest was amazing. Walking down town chicago, taking pictures of EVERYTHING, a man on the corner of the street playing a saxaphone. People of all different backgrounds walking this way and that. In a place as high paced as this, i found it surprisingly easy to just sit back and take it all in. People, in general. Live thier lives unknowing of the deep force that compells us all to just, enjoy....life. And it's very easy to, in a city like this. The lights, the music, the food, OH MY GOD, THE FOOOOD! *salivating at the thought of everything*
And then theirs the experiences, the stories, the funny facts your grateful to be able to tell.
For instance, we got a free hotel room just because a lady said we "looked like cool people"
We walked a block and went to a live jazz club and listened to a group of guys who lived for music.
To see their passion so plainly written on their faces, was....very inspiring. Made me wanna go all Louie Armstrong on errybody. I think the main thing, when visiting a city your not that familiar with, is to be spontaneous. Get lost, totally throw yourself into this new environment and teach your self to adapt. A boat ride on the river. The huge buidlings with thier arciterctual features.
The art meuseum: PICASSO! And VAN GOUGH!! right in front of me, the original work of thier own hands, these wonderful men that expressed themselves through vibrant color and a different outlook on life. The world is so huge. And ive only been able to explore a small corner of it. But if this proves anything, it's that their is adventure and a place for everyone.
Heres a story:
There was this pigeon.
It followed me for a couple of blocks.
Stopped in the middle of the street and stared at me,
i couldda sworn it was smiling. It started hopping
down this alley,
and something (i donno what)
compelled me to follow it.
So i did.
Who would of known that
it would of led me to something
so inspiring
so deep
so influental
i know i will never view things the same.
Ive seen raw human optimisim.
There in a wheel chair was a man without legs.
Missing teeth, dirty clothes, and a very very strong odor.
And you know what he was doing?
Smiling, he was as happy as could be.
Wishing everyone a wonderful thursday.
He wasnt begging, wasnt looking for a pity party,
he just wanted to tell the world that life is much better appreciated...
when you have nothing at all.
I respect that man.
I wish i would of asked his name.
I'll just call him Mario.
Mario inspired me.
I wish i could be like him,
just.....you know....with legs.
and.....i wish i could appreciate life....knowing that even if i had nothing
at all....i'd still be happy.
Mario in Chicago,
Gratzi!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Headin to chicago!
Dear mr. Frank Sinatra,
First of all lemme tell ya how much i love your music. Second of all i hope your song "chicago" doesnt hype me up to later be dissapointed.
Well see. and hopefully theirs some pizza in the mix
sincerely,
some one about to get on a plane for 3 hours and fly to an amazing city. :)
First of all lemme tell ya how much i love your music. Second of all i hope your song "chicago" doesnt hype me up to later be dissapointed.
Well see. and hopefully theirs some pizza in the mix
sincerely,
some one about to get on a plane for 3 hours and fly to an amazing city. :)
Monday, August 9, 2010
nows the time
Im gettin my life in order. im motivated. i feel soooo light. everything is possible.
im goin to travel. preach. live. it's going to be....everything i ever imagined. and if hard ships come up.....trust in him...he'll pull me through. with him everything is possible.
im goin to travel. preach. live. it's going to be....everything i ever imagined. and if hard ships come up.....trust in him...he'll pull me through. with him everything is possible.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Bam Sucka!!
Do you ever have those total holy-crap-i-am-sooo-a-ninja moments?? i just did. lemme explain:
I was putting away dishes when the whole rack fell down (a rack of about 10 GLASS dishes) i dont know how but my spidy senses kicked in and like that *that* i caught all ten of them in my arms not breaking a single one. i stubbed my toe and cut my finger in the mix but didnt break the dishes.......i rock.:D
I was putting away dishes when the whole rack fell down (a rack of about 10 GLASS dishes) i dont know how but my spidy senses kicked in and like that *that* i caught all ten of them in my arms not breaking a single one. i stubbed my toe and cut my finger in the mix but didnt break the dishes.......i rock.:D
Saturday, July 10, 2010
This is an experiment
ok so i came up with this idea to release my subconcious...or whatever.
close your eyes and type without thinking:
Bam! that was the relization hitting me. i fell to the ground. im laughing. why am i laughing? woah im crazy. im straining to see my life right now. It's.....blurred..no wiat...it's getting clearer...what the heck?? why am i just sitting there. doing nothing...the path is dissapearing...im on a figurative treadmill...it keeps moving and i cant keep up. HOLD ON!! wait a sec. im outta breathe....there we go thats better...dang. i need to keep moving. i cant just sit here while all oppurtunities come and go passing me by. I NEED to keep up. Im smiling. I got this. My smile grows wider. I breathe. I think. I smile..........i am......ready.
close your eyes and type without thinking:
Bam! that was the relization hitting me. i fell to the ground. im laughing. why am i laughing? woah im crazy. im straining to see my life right now. It's.....blurred..no wiat...it's getting clearer...what the heck?? why am i just sitting there. doing nothing...the path is dissapearing...im on a figurative treadmill...it keeps moving and i cant keep up. HOLD ON!! wait a sec. im outta breathe....there we go thats better...dang. i need to keep moving. i cant just sit here while all oppurtunities come and go passing me by. I NEED to keep up. Im smiling. I got this. My smile grows wider. I breathe. I think. I smile..........i am......ready.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
This is what I have to say..at the moment
Outside is dark...and im walking towords a bright light. I can't tell where im at....there is a sudden stop at the light. It feels like my life has gone wrong. With everything happening, right now I feel confused, powerless, and short. If you can tell im not in a very good mood...there has been a strange thing happening in my life for a long time.
This is all I have to say..at the moment.
A dark hole is approaching
The light seems to be getting closer
Nothing is making sense.
This is all I have to say..at the moment.
A dark hole is approaching
The light seems to be getting closer
Nothing is making sense.
Peanut butter
It has been awhile since Ive last writtin, (wrote, writed? whatever) And i have been feeling very.....peanut butter-ish....if that makes sense...which it probably doesnt....you know how peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth and wont go away till you down a couple glasses of milk and a slice of bread? Thats my life....there is alot stuck to the roof of my mouth at the moment and im not quite sure how to get it off....
Im not sure that makes sense either...but if it does then i guess theres a way to understand crazy people. which i am...hmm...
dang it! Im cravin a PB&J now!
Im not sure that makes sense either...but if it does then i guess theres a way to understand crazy people. which i am...hmm...
dang it! Im cravin a PB&J now!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Yet another sudden realization
Yet another sudden realization, hits me like a fist. Makes me stumble and fall over.
Yet another sudden realization, haunts me in my sleep. Makes me toss and fall out of bed.
Yet another sudden realization, comes to me as im eating. Makes me choke on my food and cry.
Yet another sudden realization, kisses me. Makes me gag and go brush my teeth.
Yet another sudden realization, wraps its arms around me. Makes me pull away and run.
Yet another sudden realization, teases me from the outside. Makes me put my face up to the glass and wish.
So i stop. And breath. And think.
Soon it will all go away.
Yet another sudden realization, haunts me in my sleep. Makes me toss and fall out of bed.
Yet another sudden realization, comes to me as im eating. Makes me choke on my food and cry.
Yet another sudden realization, kisses me. Makes me gag and go brush my teeth.
Yet another sudden realization, wraps its arms around me. Makes me pull away and run.
Yet another sudden realization, teases me from the outside. Makes me put my face up to the glass and wish.
So i stop. And breath. And think.
Soon it will all go away.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Where art thou romantic movies?
You should of seen me. Pathetic balled up in my pj's scarfin down chocolate and bawling histerically as i watched the movie "Bright star" a british "pride and prejiduce kinda film"
The plot was the same, A daughter from a semi-weathly family falls in love with a poet with no money. So ofcourse because money was everything back then, they couldnt be together. You would think that after seeing quite a few of these cliche' films i would be used to it know. Guess i wasnt because as i sat there, tears streamin down my face because Mr. John Keats was leaving for Italy and was never goin to see his love again, my parents were laughing histerically at me from the kitchen. I could of died. My heart poured out for this "chick". The long months she waited just to get a few letters from her love. I have an anxiety attack when i dont hear from somebody in a few days. She could not love him. But she did. And nothing was going to stop her. It was so sweet and mushy and lame at the same time that i didnt stop crying until the credits were half way over. I feel in love with the characters in a matter of two hours. Then thought about what they went through for another two hours. I would have been concerned for myself if it wasnt a true story. But it was. That really happened. Wow. Movies. Geesh! :(
The plot was the same, A daughter from a semi-weathly family falls in love with a poet with no money. So ofcourse because money was everything back then, they couldnt be together. You would think that after seeing quite a few of these cliche' films i would be used to it know. Guess i wasnt because as i sat there, tears streamin down my face because Mr. John Keats was leaving for Italy and was never goin to see his love again, my parents were laughing histerically at me from the kitchen. I could of died. My heart poured out for this "chick". The long months she waited just to get a few letters from her love. I have an anxiety attack when i dont hear from somebody in a few days. She could not love him. But she did. And nothing was going to stop her. It was so sweet and mushy and lame at the same time that i didnt stop crying until the credits were half way over. I feel in love with the characters in a matter of two hours. Then thought about what they went through for another two hours. I would have been concerned for myself if it wasnt a true story. But it was. That really happened. Wow. Movies. Geesh! :(
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Peacocks
Theres a vase of peacock feathers in my room. Just sitting there looking beautiful. But as i thought about it more i realized something. How did they get here? Did they kill those beautiful birds just so their feathers can sit in a vase in some ones room and have some one utter a mere "pretty" in their direction and move on? Do they miss them? Do you think they feel naked? Un-beautiful? I realize that we are selfish people. Taking what does not belong to us and trying to capture the beauty for ourselves. We cage birds, put fish in clausrophobic bowls, pick flowers and then throw them away when they die from lack of water. We take, and steal, we cannot just look and love, we cannot just look and dont touch. Our mothers have told us since the begginning of time. But we forget and ignore the warnings. We feel we are more important. WE feel we need to fufill our needs, we ignore the needs of others. I view my vase of peacock feathers differently now. I took them down to the river and let them float away hopefully to their original owner. And hopefully he'll forgive me for stealing them in the first place.
Head first
I keep having this re-occuring dream. Im standing next to the ocean, holding a scarf. Theres foot prints in the sand leading to the ocean. I have a feeling like i need to follow them. I hear some one screaming and thier head bobbing up and down in the sea gasping for air, i dont know who it is. I cant see their face. But suddenly my hands are dropping the scarf and reaching out towards the ocean as i run straight in. Then the water turns green and all around me theirs people drownding calling out for help. I try to save them all but i cant. So i keep swimming towards the first person a deep force compelling me to swim faster and faster all though my legs and arms feel like lead and are slowly weighing my down. I keep swimming but dont seem to be getting closer. I feel helpless. I cant help that person. But then i realize in horror. that im really the one drownding.
I wish i knew what in the heck my subconsious is trying to tell me.
I wish i knew what in the heck my subconsious is trying to tell me.
Monday, March 8, 2010
My hands
I look at my hands,
and wonder what i am capable of.
I reach out and try to touch,
what i cannot reach.
I hold on tight,
to what is not mine.
I trace the tears,
of those ive hurt.
I hold on to your hand.
though i really should not,
I wont let go,
wont loosen my grip.
Because i know that in the long run,
well still have each other.
and wonder what i am capable of.
I reach out and try to touch,
what i cannot reach.
I hold on tight,
to what is not mine.
I trace the tears,
of those ive hurt.
I hold on to your hand.
though i really should not,
I wont let go,
wont loosen my grip.
Because i know that in the long run,
well still have each other.
Through the trees i saw Mystic
When everything youve ever held close is gone in just a few moments , it leaves you with this feeling of emptiness. everything youve ever dreamed, ever hoped, ever laid in bed and thought about. gone. just gone. So suddenly it brings tears to your eyes. And knowing that people get the joy of having the one thing youve lost, while you have to sit back and watch everything unfold. You have no control. Helplessness complete and total helplessness. Knowing that if your were stronger you could somehow change the way things have ended up. re-trace steps and fix something. Although unpossible we still hope and dream of the days when things were better. Days when we werent so alone and lost. When we thought we had everyting. And life seemed simple. un-complicated, when really everything was. We just looked past it because we knew that what we had was soo much better. And now the memories we made hold us together as the rest of us falls to peices. And as they hit the ground and shatter, unable to be put back together. We look down in despair at all we had. Yet a sudden feeling of hope builds inside us, hope that eventually we will feel better about our failures. What we lost. hoping to regain hapiness for what it once used to be. And although we know it ownt be the same happiness we once experienced before, at least it wil hold us over.
Untiltled
The interaction of humans is as vital as sunlight to a growing plant. Without it one would surely wither up and fade a way. The mutal understandings of those you speak with is one of lifes greatsest gifts. If we were able to look past all shallow inquiries. We would see a face just as ours reaching out. Life truly istn that complicated. But choosing to look only half way into the person before us we set limits, barriers, we draw a line between ourselves and them, setting false expectations. Impressions, first, lasting. To judge soley on the mere looking of one in a single instance. We set ourselves up for failure by trying to look past our own flaws. We judge those that are struggling to hold on, when we ourselves are slipping.
Things we take for granted:
The sun, Rain, forks, hot showers, coffee, pillows, toothpaste, baseballs, tears, shrimp, lunch ladies, ducks, air freshener, juice, grass, clouds, chairs, clocks, flowers, books, sweaters, pennies, soup, fire, socks,feathers, cards, dogs, fertilizer, water, pens, trees, spiders, mangos, hairspray, feet, mints, music, roads, paper, oprah.
Why paris?
Yeah, thats the dream, Paris. The lights, the romance, the history, THE FOOD!!
Paris seems so apealing. (i know i spelled that wrong) Why? Mabey it's the fact that it's some where very far away from the United states. Or that when you hear ppl talking over there you cant help but stop and admire the beautiful language. Ah Paris! zee place to be. So heres this wonderful place. Thousands and thousands of miles away from me. And it seems so unrealistic that I'll ever be able to go. Back pack Europe. Meet extrordinary ppl, hear their stories and share mine. A movie, a Dream, why? It's really a wonderful place, imagine yourself drinking coffee at a little bistro across from a park with frenchies (i donno smooching) on benches. Someones playing 'La vien Rose' on the accordian, and all around you see flowers and buildings.
You can sit for hours and just watch. Watch people, watch the city, just sitting back and letting the dream become reality. Theres a little box under my bed stuffed with crinkled dollar bills, pay checks and quarters. This is my paris box. Although i doubt that they'll let me take all that crap up to the counter to pay for the plane ticket. Still that little box has been under my bed for 3 years now. And every time i open it im reminded of how sucky it's going to be when i get to paris and everything goes wrong. It's going to rain, the whole time. The city will be dirty, no one will be playing the accordian. People will be rude, the food will taste disgusting, Ill get lost and mix up my french and call some one a "dirty rat". Why you may ask am i being so negative? Because dreams dont come true. No matter how hard we wish them. Reality always sinks in and were stuck having to be content with what we have. But we dont like contentment. We want things to be perfect. But it's impossible. They cant be.
Paris seems so apealing. (i know i spelled that wrong) Why? Mabey it's the fact that it's some where very far away from the United states. Or that when you hear ppl talking over there you cant help but stop and admire the beautiful language. Ah Paris! zee place to be. So heres this wonderful place. Thousands and thousands of miles away from me. And it seems so unrealistic that I'll ever be able to go. Back pack Europe. Meet extrordinary ppl, hear their stories and share mine. A movie, a Dream, why? It's really a wonderful place, imagine yourself drinking coffee at a little bistro across from a park with frenchies (i donno smooching) on benches. Someones playing 'La vien Rose' on the accordian, and all around you see flowers and buildings.
You can sit for hours and just watch. Watch people, watch the city, just sitting back and letting the dream become reality. Theres a little box under my bed stuffed with crinkled dollar bills, pay checks and quarters. This is my paris box. Although i doubt that they'll let me take all that crap up to the counter to pay for the plane ticket. Still that little box has been under my bed for 3 years now. And every time i open it im reminded of how sucky it's going to be when i get to paris and everything goes wrong. It's going to rain, the whole time. The city will be dirty, no one will be playing the accordian. People will be rude, the food will taste disgusting, Ill get lost and mix up my french and call some one a "dirty rat". Why you may ask am i being so negative? Because dreams dont come true. No matter how hard we wish them. Reality always sinks in and were stuck having to be content with what we have. But we dont like contentment. We want things to be perfect. But it's impossible. They cant be.
I dont want to
I am in a very sticky situation.
I do not want to lose either of them.
I cannot chose.
I cannot tell.
I must make my heart into stone.
Because to lose either of them would tear it apart. :(
I do not want to lose either of them.
I cannot chose.
I cannot tell.
I must make my heart into stone.
Because to lose either of them would tear it apart. :(
Thursday, March 4, 2010
why you say eh?
Niagra falls, the maple leaf, the olympics. Ring any bells? Thats right im talkin bout Canada.
I went there last year. Drove 26hrs. on a bus full of 30 people just to see it. My butt fell asleep,
and i about went crazy from waiting. And then we saw it the canadian border. Everyone woo'd.
We got our passports stamped. Then drove into CANADA *heavenly voices sing* and let me tell ya somethin. WHAT A RIP OFF. We entered canada. and it looked......like texas. I was expecting everything to be shiny, the land of the free health insurance! Where were the healthy looking people!?!? So we went and stayed in a hotel that looked like any other hotel. At some food that tasted....like american food. And went to the bathroom in toilets that (shocker) were made in china. So really why did we come here? Eh? EH?? EHHHH??? to see a water fall that well was impressive but was no where near the amazing white trash rodeos you could go see in Texas.
Ontop of that the canadian guy that was giving us the tour could hardly speak english and never said "eh." Dissapointment. Btw all you canadians our there, just ignore this. it was not meant to offend. it was to entertain one of my crazy friends. :D
I went there last year. Drove 26hrs. on a bus full of 30 people just to see it. My butt fell asleep,
and i about went crazy from waiting. And then we saw it the canadian border. Everyone woo'd.
We got our passports stamped. Then drove into CANADA *heavenly voices sing* and let me tell ya somethin. WHAT A RIP OFF. We entered canada. and it looked......like texas. I was expecting everything to be shiny, the land of the free health insurance! Where were the healthy looking people!?!? So we went and stayed in a hotel that looked like any other hotel. At some food that tasted....like american food. And went to the bathroom in toilets that (shocker) were made in china. So really why did we come here? Eh? EH?? EHHHH??? to see a water fall that well was impressive but was no where near the amazing white trash rodeos you could go see in Texas.
Ontop of that the canadian guy that was giving us the tour could hardly speak english and never said "eh." Dissapointment. Btw all you canadians our there, just ignore this. it was not meant to offend. it was to entertain one of my crazy friends. :D
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Take that Pennfoster!
I would like to travel back in time and kill the man that invented algebra. I believe it would be for the better of mankind. Because seriously im sitting here my brain about to explode from all the numbers and little stupid symbols that make no sense what so ever. I could be sleeping, or baking, or doing something far more interesting than staring at this paper back and drooling.
I mean dont get me wrong education is important and all but it's not the reason i wake up every morning or anything. So i guess it would be safe to say that i could care less about weather or not i can find the certain number to this certain stupid problem. Forget it! Im gonna go eat a pickle and watch some foreign movie on TCM.
I mean dont get me wrong education is important and all but it's not the reason i wake up every morning or anything. So i guess it would be safe to say that i could care less about weather or not i can find the certain number to this certain stupid problem. Forget it! Im gonna go eat a pickle and watch some foreign movie on TCM.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Suitcase of feelings
Theres a suitcase on the ground.
Overflowing with my feelings.
Each one takes up it's own space.
Each one with it's own influence.
And i cant seem to fit them all in.
So i have to pick which ones i'll leave.
But i dont have that choice.
I just have to let them go where they want.
Unfourtunatly,
Happiness
Contentment
Numbness
and Nothingness
are over powered by
Anxiousness
Sadness
Confusion
Anger
and Aloneness
take up all the room in my tiny suitcase.
And this suitcase is all i have on my journey.
So i have to be content....
although it doesnt fit in my suitcase.
Overflowing with my feelings.
Each one takes up it's own space.
Each one with it's own influence.
And i cant seem to fit them all in.
So i have to pick which ones i'll leave.
But i dont have that choice.
I just have to let them go where they want.
Unfourtunatly,
Happiness
Contentment
Numbness
and Nothingness
are over powered by
Anxiousness
Sadness
Confusion
Anger
and Aloneness
take up all the room in my tiny suitcase.
And this suitcase is all i have on my journey.
So i have to be content....
although it doesnt fit in my suitcase.
The greenest eyes you'll see
Green
an ocean of glass spread neatly across everything
like being under water when all sound is muted
and little air bubbles tickle your nose
like mustard spread upon a starch white piece of bread.
and how the smell makes you gag
like when you see a picture of starving children
and how they dont have any shoes
like people that walk on fire
and how their burning flesh smells like marshmallows
like when you were a little kid gathered by a fire
and how the flames lit up the darkness
like the single light bulb in your closet
and how you cry in the dark when your lost
like when your wondering on a unfamiliar road
and nothing makes sense
like a math equation that never ends
and your brain starts hurting
like you need a tylenol
and you cant find the pharmacy around the block
like the little girl next door
and how she lost her dog yesterday
like every other little girl with a dog
and how she crys everytime you see her
like the lady that works the cash register at mcdonalds
and how she looks so depressed and mistaken
like the people in the magazines who smile
and act like they love their bodies and who they are
like how all the parents tell us to do.
and we want to be some one else
like the people who screwed up their lives
and wish they could start over
like normal people
and poets
like the one that wrote this poem.
an ocean of glass spread neatly across everything
like being under water when all sound is muted
and little air bubbles tickle your nose
like mustard spread upon a starch white piece of bread.
and how the smell makes you gag
like when you see a picture of starving children
and how they dont have any shoes
like people that walk on fire
and how their burning flesh smells like marshmallows
like when you were a little kid gathered by a fire
and how the flames lit up the darkness
like the single light bulb in your closet
and how you cry in the dark when your lost
like when your wondering on a unfamiliar road
and nothing makes sense
like a math equation that never ends
and your brain starts hurting
like you need a tylenol
and you cant find the pharmacy around the block
like the little girl next door
and how she lost her dog yesterday
like every other little girl with a dog
and how she crys everytime you see her
like the lady that works the cash register at mcdonalds
and how she looks so depressed and mistaken
like the people in the magazines who smile
and act like they love their bodies and who they are
like how all the parents tell us to do.
and we want to be some one else
like the people who screwed up their lives
and wish they could start over
like normal people
and poets
like the one that wrote this poem.
It's only the truth
Life changes so quickly.
The routine we were so used to dissolves
into nothing.
The people we know move on and we find ourselves moving on with them.
And even though a part of us longs for the way it used to be.
we couldnt be happier to embrace the future.
for what it holds
for what it promises
for what we think it will accomplish.
We use our memories as a flashlight
shining only a small circle in the pit of darkness
Soley depending on them to help us see through the black of
our future and what it holds for each one of us individually.
And knowing that even though were unsure
were slightly scared,
and mabey even excited
We will always have our memories
and the ablility to look back and say:
"Well that was stupid!" :D
The routine we were so used to dissolves
into nothing.
The people we know move on and we find ourselves moving on with them.
And even though a part of us longs for the way it used to be.
we couldnt be happier to embrace the future.
for what it holds
for what it promises
for what we think it will accomplish.
We use our memories as a flashlight
shining only a small circle in the pit of darkness
Soley depending on them to help us see through the black of
our future and what it holds for each one of us individually.
And knowing that even though were unsure
were slightly scared,
and mabey even excited
We will always have our memories
and the ablility to look back and say:
"Well that was stupid!" :D
All the time in the world
I got home from work today and went over the mile long mental check list i had been dreading.
Cleaning, Studying, and im sure somethin else. But as i walked outside, and well the sun was shining the first time in like forever, i just couldnt find myself doing, anything. So i didnt. I just sat sat in the hammock for the whole day and well thought. About everything. Life. Stupid random things. Pretty much everything that you forget to think about as your rushing around doing whatever you think is important at that time. I'ts funny how people forget to think. For example one minute their sitting in the car and then the next their in the parking lot of wherever not even remembering the drive over, which can, well be potentially dangerous. People have a nact for not thinking. I think most put their brain on hold, spitting out whatever flows from their mouth. But i guess it's ok, people dont really care anymore. Like you could be in a very intense conversation and casualy say "I really like how that pie looks on your face" and i guarantee people wont catch it. ANYWAYS! So as im sitting in the hammock, thinking, a very interesting thought crosses my mind. Have you ever noticed how that old lady down the street looks at your strangely through her blinds. Or the garbage man seems to be talking to himself as hes knee deep in your crap? I donno but i thought could it be.....that theirs this like strange little organization that knows everything about you? Like keep video cameras in your room and see you rocking out infront of your mirror.....the feeling of being watched?.....whatever. I dont know what im talking about.
Cleaning, Studying, and im sure somethin else. But as i walked outside, and well the sun was shining the first time in like forever, i just couldnt find myself doing, anything. So i didnt. I just sat sat in the hammock for the whole day and well thought. About everything. Life. Stupid random things. Pretty much everything that you forget to think about as your rushing around doing whatever you think is important at that time. I'ts funny how people forget to think. For example one minute their sitting in the car and then the next their in the parking lot of wherever not even remembering the drive over, which can, well be potentially dangerous. People have a nact for not thinking. I think most put their brain on hold, spitting out whatever flows from their mouth. But i guess it's ok, people dont really care anymore. Like you could be in a very intense conversation and casualy say "I really like how that pie looks on your face" and i guarantee people wont catch it. ANYWAYS! So as im sitting in the hammock, thinking, a very interesting thought crosses my mind. Have you ever noticed how that old lady down the street looks at your strangely through her blinds. Or the garbage man seems to be talking to himself as hes knee deep in your crap? I donno but i thought could it be.....that theirs this like strange little organization that knows everything about you? Like keep video cameras in your room and see you rocking out infront of your mirror.....the feeling of being watched?.....whatever. I dont know what im talking about.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Fatty McButter pants
So as i was scarfing down some banana bread today my mother mentioned something profound.
"Why dont you go out and take a jog after eating all that crap." My jaw dropped. Why, Mother??
Would i like to go out and run on pavement when i can be fisting this "crap" inside?? But then i realized. The whole expression: Excercise after you eat. It to make sure that the guilt of chugging soda and eating cake is eliminated by take a quick 2o min. jog. Well lemme tell ya somethin that 20 min. Doesnt help. So i'll continue to scarf.
"Why dont you go out and take a jog after eating all that crap." My jaw dropped. Why, Mother??
Would i like to go out and run on pavement when i can be fisting this "crap" inside?? But then i realized. The whole expression: Excercise after you eat. It to make sure that the guilt of chugging soda and eating cake is eliminated by take a quick 2o min. jog. Well lemme tell ya somethin that 20 min. Doesnt help. So i'll continue to scarf.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Nothin Sweet about Rather Sweet
"Unproductive." That was the frequent word that was turned in my direction. The definition of "Sleeping in untill noon, staying in your pajamas all day, and ofcourse vegging out on the couch."
The usual lathargicness (is that a word??) of my day was....well...normal.
So it was a very rare thing for me to find myself doing something that was going to be benificial.
Applying for a job. It was at a little well-known bakery on Main street that in more words or less, was the reason why ppl counted their calories. Each delicious cookie or peice of cake was about enough to slap a few pounds to your thighs. So i thought "Who wouldnt want to work at a bakery? I mean im sure they give their employees the little reject pastries they cant sell." And well being around sweets 5hrs. a day didnt sound all that bad to me. So i applied, and filled out the application with what i would call "the worst hand writing in the world." And for some unknown reason, they hired me. A fifteen year old girl who had no idea what the resturant buisness was all about. But i got the hang of it. Eventually. After working my butt off bussing tables and handling peoples spitty silverware. Running food up and down all 36 steps about a 100 times a day. And Breaking quite a few plates. I hadnt realized until then how much energy it took to please people.
Because really thats all it was about. Pleasing people, no matter how crazy the request. For instance, if the man seated at table 3 strangely wants lemon in his tuna salad, you had better put some dang lemon in his fish. And if the lady at table 9 wants another glass because she insists theres "something floating in the water." Then you have to run up stares shuffle through a big room full of dishes, run back down. All the while praying shes not getting more and more impatient. And you would think that after kissing someones butt for 2 and a half hours youd at least get a descent tip. But no, when you see that soggy one dollar bill tucked beneath the plate. You had better not throw a fit. So after 3 months of this torment, this cutting myself with the lime knife, spilling hot lasagna on myself, and carrying in spider infested rotted logs to warm the "costumers". Well after all that. I quit. But a big factor was my boss. Rebekka Rather. The stubborn, full of herself, "bow down to me im the pastry queen." miserable human being. She was the reason. All though i respected her work, thought her dog Bo was adorable, and LOVED her food. She was still not my most favorite person. And now, working at a hair salon, answering phones and checking people out. I am quite happy. I get my 7hr. HGTV fix and ofcourse when ever my split ends start taunting me, my boss Cathy chops em off for absolutely FREE. So here i am 3 days a week, chatting with the girls about the "latest" and eating a donut from the crappy coffee shop across the street. But hey! It sure beats being screamed at by a baker! :D
The usual lathargicness (is that a word??) of my day was....well...normal.
So it was a very rare thing for me to find myself doing something that was going to be benificial.
Applying for a job. It was at a little well-known bakery on Main street that in more words or less, was the reason why ppl counted their calories. Each delicious cookie or peice of cake was about enough to slap a few pounds to your thighs. So i thought "Who wouldnt want to work at a bakery? I mean im sure they give their employees the little reject pastries they cant sell." And well being around sweets 5hrs. a day didnt sound all that bad to me. So i applied, and filled out the application with what i would call "the worst hand writing in the world." And for some unknown reason, they hired me. A fifteen year old girl who had no idea what the resturant buisness was all about. But i got the hang of it. Eventually. After working my butt off bussing tables and handling peoples spitty silverware. Running food up and down all 36 steps about a 100 times a day. And Breaking quite a few plates. I hadnt realized until then how much energy it took to please people.
Because really thats all it was about. Pleasing people, no matter how crazy the request. For instance, if the man seated at table 3 strangely wants lemon in his tuna salad, you had better put some dang lemon in his fish. And if the lady at table 9 wants another glass because she insists theres "something floating in the water." Then you have to run up stares shuffle through a big room full of dishes, run back down. All the while praying shes not getting more and more impatient. And you would think that after kissing someones butt for 2 and a half hours youd at least get a descent tip. But no, when you see that soggy one dollar bill tucked beneath the plate. You had better not throw a fit. So after 3 months of this torment, this cutting myself with the lime knife, spilling hot lasagna on myself, and carrying in spider infested rotted logs to warm the "costumers". Well after all that. I quit. But a big factor was my boss. Rebekka Rather. The stubborn, full of herself, "bow down to me im the pastry queen." miserable human being. She was the reason. All though i respected her work, thought her dog Bo was adorable, and LOVED her food. She was still not my most favorite person. And now, working at a hair salon, answering phones and checking people out. I am quite happy. I get my 7hr. HGTV fix and ofcourse when ever my split ends start taunting me, my boss Cathy chops em off for absolutely FREE. So here i am 3 days a week, chatting with the girls about the "latest" and eating a donut from the crappy coffee shop across the street. But hey! It sure beats being screamed at by a baker! :D
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
My uke.
Theres this little shop on Main that sells guitars and gives music lessons and what not.
I stopped by there one day and saw a ukulele hanging on the wall. 89 dollars!! To some it was a: "Thats a pretty good deal" to me: "Thats my whole stinkin pay check for the month!!"
But somethin about it made me want it. Mabey it was how small and easily it could fit in my hands. Or mabey it was the fact that i could picture myself playing it next to some over weight hawiian. That thought struck me as hilarious so without weighing the so called "benifits vs. consequences" I bought that thing.
And well it has served me well so far. Now i already have a guitar. That peice of crap has been sitting in the corner of my room for 5 years!! I never even learned anything on it. Well except for "twinkle twinkle little star" but you cant really WOW an audience with that. So i made a promise to myself to make sure i would at least learn SOMETHING on my uke. And i did. The C,F,G, and D chord. And well with those....you can pretty much learn to play anything. If you havent heard it already, i advise you to look up the song "You and I" by Ingrid Michealson. Pure genius...and well easy to play on the uke. A huge bonus for me. Considering i dont really retain things that well. Bottom line. If your looking to learn how to play a simple and easy instrument? Look into gettin a uke. You will not be dissapointed:D
I stopped by there one day and saw a ukulele hanging on the wall. 89 dollars!! To some it was a: "Thats a pretty good deal" to me: "Thats my whole stinkin pay check for the month!!"
But somethin about it made me want it. Mabey it was how small and easily it could fit in my hands. Or mabey it was the fact that i could picture myself playing it next to some over weight hawiian. That thought struck me as hilarious so without weighing the so called "benifits vs. consequences" I bought that thing.
And well it has served me well so far. Now i already have a guitar. That peice of crap has been sitting in the corner of my room for 5 years!! I never even learned anything on it. Well except for "twinkle twinkle little star" but you cant really WOW an audience with that. So i made a promise to myself to make sure i would at least learn SOMETHING on my uke. And i did. The C,F,G, and D chord. And well with those....you can pretty much learn to play anything. If you havent heard it already, i advise you to look up the song "You and I" by Ingrid Michealson. Pure genius...and well easy to play on the uke. A huge bonus for me. Considering i dont really retain things that well. Bottom line. If your looking to learn how to play a simple and easy instrument? Look into gettin a uke. You will not be dissapointed:D
Pretty new at this
So i realized that, because im a homeschooled only child. And my butt had been imprinted into the couch for the past six months watching TV and feeling completely unproductive. I would blog about my boring, somewhat entertaining life. Because i found that pretty much everyday i come home i have a funny story to tell, and well since half the time all the ppl that i would tell either have a life or just really dont care, i would inform the random strangers that read these things. So heres to all those homeschooled only children. Enjoy!
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